WTF IS THIS?!

So during the day I have a 9-5 office job.  It's been a pretty rough week so I been on "liquid lunches" for the last three days.  I hit the Millennium Bar in Downtown Chicago, which is right across the street from Millennium Park. I go in have a glass of Pinot Noir.  Can't be drinking hard shit while still on the job.  This hot ass brunette who always serves me give me my glass. but along with it she gave me this bullshit.


























Not to be too obvious, but this is a Coors Lights coaster meant to be utilized within the bar for bar glasses.  No big Deal. Except for one thing. NO BAR GLASS FITS ON THE SHIT! I set my wine glass on this piece of shit and it spilled all over my shirt.  There's red wine all over my yellow shirt and I had to be back at work in 20 minutes.  Then the bartender offers me a new glass of wine along with a bar napkin(which I should've had in the first place) versus the primary.  By now, she's noticing the new coaster doesn't have my approval.  I mean she's hot...but she's still not blonde so she put together the pieces of the puzzle. LOL. Anyway, I go the bathroom to try to get the stains off.  Of course, it doesn't happen.  10 minutes left til I have to go to work.  I realized that after I paid for the glass of wine, I had like $20 left on me. So I shoot over to Macy's to get replacement shirt.  Mind you, I work in downtown Chicago. Finding a shirt for under $20 that's work appropriate ain't the easiest.  3 minutes left.  I'm in Macy's and I finally a polo for like $14 before tax.  I slip it on, sprint back to work (20 minutes late) and slide past my bosses with my head down trying not to get noticed. That whole situation was completely bullshit and put me in a crazy situation.

Moral of the Story
A COASTER MUST BIG ENOUGH TO HOLD THE GLASS!

HEY BIG BEER VENDORS: Stop trying get all cute with your mountain-shaped beer coasters and go back to the original rectangular shits with the ice cold mountains on them.  That glass of wine cost me about $25.  What's Coor's Headquarters address?  Somebody is gonna reimburse me. Yup.  I plan on being petty.  Don't judge.  Just deal with it.  The Irony?  People go to the bar forget about their problems.

Thanks for Listening Sports Fans.